In Which I Ride A Camel

I do not seem to be doing very well on either the whimsy or the adventures, thus far. However, it *is* only the second day of this blog’s existence, so I’ll be easy on myself.

I briefly considered discussing how yesterday I was brandishing a chainsaw, and transported a tree up the access path cut along a quarter-mile of the cliffside on which we live, and there was mud, blood, and an overwhelming amount of testosterone. I also considered writing about how today, in contrast, I am lounging in a cocktail dress and my grandmother’s fox-fur because I am too damned sore to do anything else. Instead, I am going to write about camels.

Chainsaw Cocktail Gown, Cowboy Dragqueen, Grandmother's Furs, Cowboy Cocktail Dress, Cocktail Dress Wine, Saddest Drag Queen Ever, Wine

About a year ago, Ex-Husband and I got back in touch with one another – we hadn’t spoken for more than a year. I had just started a new frenzy for new experiences, and for little souvenirs designed to lift one’s spirits. Ex-Husband showed up, made me dinner (he’s a chef), and took me to a local winter attraction we have in Tacoma, Zoolights – essentially, the local zoo is converted into a walk-through cavalcade of animal-themed wonder. As it happens, while we were purchasing tickets, I saw a sign.

Not an omen. I meant an actual sign, advertising camel rides. While probably intended for children, they didn’t have an age limit, and I had never ridden a camel before, and damn it, I had a sudden, burning, need to ride one.

Zoolights, Exhusbands, Exhusband adventures, exhusbands at the zoo, pith helmets, ex-husband adventures at zoos

Of course, as we made our way towards the camel enclosure, it began to rain. The camel-herder chap led the camels away as we approached the wooden set of stairs, designed for camel ascension. As we wandered off, sharing a clandestine cigarette in the Asian Forest Sanctuary, Ex-Husband promised that we’d try again the next week. We did try, but on this second visit, the camels weren’t even out. I was crushed – no camel ride for me.

In the following months, I experienced a number of wondrous new things, making new friends, picking up new skills and hobbies. Ex-Husband moved to Germany, as planned, and the world kept spinning. All was perfectly ordinary, except that I still had that fervent urge to sit uncomfortably between an undulating pair of humps.

Last August, I was at the Ale House of the local Renaissance Faire, on its last day. After several ciders, and about fifteen minutes before the cannons announced the Faire was closed for the year, a friend of mine pointed something out: Three camels, in an enclosure, tied to a central pole. Five dollars, satisfaction. As my friend shoved a bill into my hand and pushed me towards the bored teenager manning the ride, I felt more alive than I had in ages. While my steed plodded once, slowly, lazily, around the ring, my grin radiated triumph to all who saw: I had finally had my camel ride, and no one could take it away from me.

Camel, Reverend Doctor on Camel, Reverends on camels, doctors on camels, reverend doctors on camels, crazy people on camels, rennaissance camel, victorian time travel camel, riding a fucking camel

About Ty DeLyte

Madame DeLyte has suffered a grave disappointment - YET AGAIN - and still believes that freedom, beauty, and truth are what's valuable, rather than vulgar cash. He'd add love to that list - but, well, what can he say about love?
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10 Responses to In Which I Ride A Camel

  1. Bernie says:


  2. Cutler says:

    Awesome, and here I thought it would be about Camel Brand Cigarettes.

  3. lindsey says:

    I love it and I get it. I want to ride a camel, too, and am jealous of people I know who have gotten to do so when visiting places where it’s common. Actually, I want to ride any animal that is big enough to carry me, and I think this comes from my childhood belief that animals just KNOW that I love them and we GET each other like that. I have yet to come face to face with a savage, wild animal to put this understanding to the test, but surely if I did we’d wind up laughing about it together like old friends, one just significantly furrier than the other.

    PS – More stories, please.

  4. Karen says:

    I rode a camel, OMG it was probably almost 20 years ago at the circus. I took my sister’s two young children for the day. We had a blast. I bounced around the ring on the back of my two humped steed, it was like I was transformed by to my childhood. It was wonderful…

  5. paisleyglen says:

    Karen, Lindsey, thank you both for absolutely understanding! <3<3<3

  6. ekgo says:

    Holy shit, you said “Interrobang”
    We must be married AT ONCE!
    No, no, of course Gabe won’t mind. My boyfriends probably will because I’m supposed to marry them, too, but…I’m sure it will work out. You live far away and if it took you that long to have a drunken camel ride, you’ll never make it down to my neck of the woods.
    I also had my first camel ride (Oh, the potential for camel toe jokes here) at the RenFest for much the same reasons, only I didn’t have the drunken part because I wasn’t old enough to drink. And I don’t drink in public often anyhow.
    I’ve also ridden an elephant down a river in Thailand. Because that is how very amazing I am. But I was sober then, too. Which makes it sound more like there’s something wrong with me that I do these things without the aid of booze.

  7. paisleyglen says:

    OH MY STARS My best friend spent a year or two in Thailand, and totally *didn’t* ride any elephants when she was there. Riding Elephants sounds amazing!

    You don’t have to be drunk to have adventures. I often worry, because it seems like a lot of my adventures are caused by alcohol, but that’s really not the case. Probably.

    • ekgo says:

      I’ve always been under the impression that most adventures are alcohol-induced and I was beginning to worry about my sanity because mine all happen during sobriety.

      Thailand is a fun place. They don’t kill you in back alleys or put you in sex dens when you get lost in the city, contrary to popular belief.

  8. Pingback: Post the Hundred and Thirty-Seventh: Blogiversary Extravaganza! | Whimsical Adventures of the Reverend Doctor

  9. Pingback: Post the Hundred-and-Thirty-Seventh: Blogiversary Extravaganza! | Whimsical Adventures of the Reverend Doctor

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