In Which I Lose A Friend

Last night, I lost a friend. I suppose that technically, it was the wee hours of this morning, but no matter. No one died – no worries on that score! – but I wanted to take a moment to discuss friendship and anger.

I’ve known the person in question for  a little over ten, eleven years. For at least eight of them, said person has been cornering me at functions, usually when I’m tipsy and unable to fend her off, and haranguing me with the same old litany of resentment every time. We need to fix our friendship, she tells me. I have no idea how it came to be in such a dire state of disrepair, but for a number of years I was committed to trying to fix whatever nebulous thing is/was wrong. Frankly, we were never that close to begin with, but it seemed important, so I tried. After a year or two, the only thing wrong on my end was that she would continue to corner me, ad infinitum. Ad absurdium, rather. No matter what I said or did, this is what I got:

Barbara

Further, I’m supposed to perform her wedding this next summer.

Last night, the same usual thing happened. Honestly, for the first time in years, we actually have been making progress, and for the last few months, we seem to have been genuinely enjoying one another’s company. However, she’s never liked the Ex-Husband ( I think she was jealous of the attention and affection I have for him – but seriously?), and she aggressively started badgering me about his existence, daring me to justify any iota of love for him that I’ve ever displayed, demanding that I denote every happy memory I have of him, dissecting our relationship on the cold, steel, slab of her hate for him. Something happened then, and I just snapped.

FuckOffBarb

I’m tired of her manipulation. I’m tired of her emotional blackmail. Frankly, I am absolutely tired of her bullshit. I’m slow to anger, but once I’m roused, I do not back down.

Her fiance, a good friend of mine that I get along with well, was incandescent in his rage when I apologized for not being able to offer my services at their wedding. He told me to go fuck myself; while he did later apologize, it’s been a rough day. I really want nothing more to do with the lady in question, nor her supercilious, smarmy, attitude, nor her veiled hostility. It might make holiday parties a bit tense, but I’m through.

Neither whimsical nor an adventure, but I needed to share. Cheers.

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About Ty DeLyte

Madame DeLyte has suffered a grave disappointment - YET AGAIN - and still believes that freedom, beauty, and truth are what's valuable, rather than vulgar cash. He'd add love to that list - but, well, what can he say about love?
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10 Responses to In Which I Lose A Friend

  1. Pony says:

    I’m sorry you had to deal with unpleasantness- but you did what needed to be done. No one needs toxic people in their lives. To hell with ’em.

  2. Karen says:

    People come into your life for a reason, and they leave for reason as well. It is much better to cut yourself away from a person whos only goal seemed to be to tear you down. She wanted to repair your relationship (i.e. – let her do and say whatever she wants, and your just supposed to take it), but she did not care about you as a person. I am sorry that it cost you your friendship with your real friend, but if he was truely your friend, he would understand.

  3. mousegoddess says:

    Their loss. Your gain sounds like. But I might be a little biased on that score 😉

  4. Pingback: Post the Thrity-Seventh: In which I ramble about inconsequentials, and desire wine. | Whimsical Adventures of the Reverend Doctor

  5. ekgo says:

    Has anything come of this since? Like, has your friend stabbed his fiancee in the face, yet? Probably not; that doesn’t happen as often as it should.
    What an uncomfortable and crappy situation. But you did the right thing…in that you didn’t stab her face off at her own wedding which only would have landed you in jail and you are far too pretty for prison.

    • paisleyglen says:

      Oh, the wedding still hasn’t happened yet – it’s next month. The roommates are all still friends with her, so she’s around here a lot. I just retreat to my bedroom, or else I leave the house. We had gotten to a point where we were civil, now she won’t even look at me. I don’t know if I’m still supposed to officiate at their wedding or not. It’s in three weeks, I think.

  6. Pingback: Facing Foes | Whimsical Adventures of the Reverend Doctor

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