Ace Hardware and Liquor

Gentle Reader, my good friends and current roommates P. and S. were, until quite recently, living in Tacoma, on a quarter acre. Now, they’re both from the country, and city living was – not the life for them.

Green Acres

Therefore, they were always looking at large chunks of property, all over the state, regardless of whether they were attainable or not. One day, they would fifty acres, adjacent to the Mt. Ranier National Park, containing a large swath of the Nisqually River.

Naturally, S, some buddies, and I, were soon on a day trip up to the mountain to hike around and look longingly at the property. We spent a golden afternoon tromping around in the woods, on the flats by the river, climbing onto boulders, and getting muddy. It was a generally testosterone-laden afternoon, in the woods, and flannel.


On our way back home, however, S., who was driving, saw a sign. I don’t mean an omen, I mean an actual shop-sign that caused him to pull a high-speed u-turn across three lanes of traffic – the perfect sign for such a robust day. It was, of course, Ace Hardware and Liquor, where one can buy both a nailgun and a fifth of whiskey. For reasons. We may or may not have done that – I know that we at least got the whiskey.


About Ty DeLyte

Madame DeLyte has suffered a grave disappointment - YET AGAIN - and still believes that freedom, beauty, and truth are what's valuable, rather than vulgar cash. He'd add love to that list - but, well, what can he say about love?
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7 Responses to Ace Hardware and Liquor

  1. A few years ago I was off visiting friends who lived in a small sleepy coastal village. The nice sort of place family’s go on holiday to relax on the beach and play in the sea.

    One evening during a pub crawl (a short pub crawl as they only had three pubs so it was more of a pub spiral) we were taking a short cut down a small cobbled road and I had to call my companions to a stop, and to get them to come back and look at the place I had found.

    A hairdressers & gun shop.!!!

    you could go in for a cut & shave while looking over their supply of shotguns and ammo, The window display was shotguns & shells surrounded by hair products.

  2. ekgo says:

    Is this the same Ace that has that “Ace is the place…for…the helpful…hardware…store..” jingle. I don’t actually know the words, as I just found out. But it’s a normal Ace Hardware? Like the chain? And it sells alcohol?
    I can’t imagine how that is even close to a good idea and I also don’t know why they don’t all do that.
    This whole thing is a vast puzzlement.

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