Halloween Costumes

Gentle Reader, I am aware of the date. I acknowledge the tragedy that occurred; the actions of those individuals are reprehensible. I have long held that our reaction was also reprehensible – not the tears, or the (brief) coming together of people of all walks of life – the curtailing of Freedom in the name of Security. This will doubtless lose me readers; this is not what I want to talk to you about today. In the midst of everyone’s heavy posts of remembrance and sorrow, I would like to embrace levity, frivolity, light – those things that lift our souls and bring us joy. For me, one of those things is, of course, Halloween.

Again, I’m perfectly aware of the date. However, in the days of the F.P.A., we always imagined our Ideal Guest receiving their invitation or their save-the-date card, debating over what costume to make, purchase, construct, and spending months on their attire. There would be vague murmurs at all the best parties – Well, what are you wearing? – and thus, interest and intrigue would slowly build for absolute ages, until the day of the event, when people’s creativity and talent would wash over us all in a riotous frenzy of feathers, silk, and sequins. While this was never quite the case with our actual guests, I have always treated Halloween, the Costumer’s High Holy Day, with the reverence and respect described.

I have come up with many unique concepts over the years; the above was a dark interpretation of the Baron Munchausen; there is also my steampunk iteration of the White Knight from Through the Looking Glass:

You can’t quite tell in the photo; there are approximately twenty pouches on the various straps across my chest that serve for armor; there are baskets, a turkish coffee set, tools for masonry and woodwork, a number of blades of varying uses, and so on and so forth.

You can see that this is a serious business that I’m about; I cannot just be a cat, a gypsy, or a cowboy. These, however, are the sort of suggestions I’ve been getting. September is nearly halfway over, and I still don’t have a concept. There was a moment when I almost decided on Dorothy Parker, but last year’s Coco Chanel* fiasco turned me against that idea. A couple’s costume, with Miss K, going as gender-switched June and Ward Cleaver seemed promising†, but I know full well that she won’t want to go to half the functions I want to attend. I may be stumped, for the first time in years, even if I am a dead ringer for June.

 

For heaven’s sake, I cobbled my own boots for my Jareth costume. This shouldn’t be an issue. It is absolutely vital that I sort this out by Sunday, so that I can begin collecting materials and begin work on this.

I’m sorry, Gentle Reader. I’m publicly brooding over the inconsequential. Do you have any suggestions? What are you wearing and doing on Halloween?

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*The fiasco is twofold: firstly, no photos nor film of my costume survive; secondly, no one knew who I was, so I eventually told people that I was a Maiden Aunt.

†Fuck Gender-Roles! Fight Heteronormativity! Etc. Great concept; it’s just not practical.