I believe I left you with the Lizard-Friend* auspiciously pointing us into the forest, towards a hidden bridge, Gentle Reader.
Naturally we took the Lizard-Friend’s advice and toddled into the woods, where we began picking flowers along the trail.
I was determined, on this expedition, to fulfill a duty I’d assigned myself:
The Task: Create a Whimsical Forest Surprise.
The Execution: Well, we hadn’t been able to buy supplies to build bio-degradable fairies and suspend them as we were hoping to in Plain, Washington, and I thought that I might have to give up on this task before we even got to the woods. However, after crossing the charming little bridge, deep in the forest, we stumbled across a treehouse.
I began to feel a little bit more hopeful. There was also a teepee constructed of sticks, and a number of little platforms, gazebos, and shelters along the river – curious, considering that we’d hiked through the wilderness for about an hour to reach the spot. We wandered riverward, hoping to get some respite from the heat of the day. And then:
Somebody had been building cairns inexpertly by the riverbank. They were clearly man-made, but they weren’t very good.
And that’s when we decided to
show them up improve upon what they’d started, and leave a little surprise for whoever had lovingly built the little camps. We set to work:
We spent a good hour by the riverside, stacking rocks. We left a half-dozen each, but the ring in the river – that was our masterpiece. One large central cairn, surrounded by twelve ancillary cairns. Christopher was pleased that neither of us had any question of what the correct number was – we both automatically assumed 12. This is because we share a highly technical background in Teenage Wicca.
The Verdict: Uh, playing in Nature? Heck yes! Obviously we had a blast, and left something clearly manmade for someone to stumble on, that won’t fuck up the countryside. I had been yearning to do this from the minute I made the list. Duh.
But the day’s adventures weren’t over yet! We hadn’t yet scaled the cliff, or built our flower crowns, or read Tarot in a forest meadow! It was Beltane, after all†!
So we climbed the Big Cliff:
Via a nearly vertical footpath that provided access to the powerlines that stretch across the river. We hiked onward, and that’s when we heard an ominous rumbling.
No, not thunder; don’t be silly. It was just the loggers, who were lumberjacking off in the distance. One was wearing just jeans, boots, and the stupid safety vest; somehow we were able to navigate the trail with our eyes glued to his gleaming, sweaty torso. Christopher was tempted to wander over and say something to them. Something like “Help, sir! We’re just two little lost fags all alone in the woods! Golly!”
but we both agreed that probably wasn’t the best idea. We stumbled onward until we came across a meadow full of flowers.
So then this happened:
And I started singing the Sound of Music:
Christopher wasn’t amused.
So I flopped down, exhausted from belting broadway from the mountaintop.
We hiked back down to the little encampments, and offered up our crowns in a sacrifice, in fire, content in the success of our pastoral adventure‡.
*Do you mean to tell me you don’t take directions from woodland creatures? What the hell is wrong with you?
†Um, Beltane celebrations usually involve a certain amount of ceremonial fucking. That was not the case here, both because I’m seeing someone and because we’ve known each other since we were five. Ewww§.
‡Christopher also made friends with a horse:
and with a goat:
§ Sorry, Christopher.