TALES FROM THE BUTCH SIDE

Was… Was that a flash of lightning, Gentle Reader?

Lightning

And – can you hear that ominous music, or is it just me?

Wait – does everything suddenly feel all strange and different? I suddenly feel the need to code switch and perform the expected social roles of an American Heterosexual Man*! AAAAAAAAAAH!

Angry Ghost

Gentle Reader, may I present to you a new blog feature:

Tales From The Butch Side

It was a dark and stormy night a heteronormative construction site, and my boss and I had finished laying the house’s foundation a few months earlier. When we returned to pour the concrete driveway, the house had almost entirely been finished.  Tony and I mostly worked in concrete, but we did a little landscaping on the side as well. When the homeowner found this out, he asked us to come back the next week, and lay some sod.

Sod

We returned as promised, and set to work.

There was quite a bit of debris that had to be removed from  the site that was to become a lawn. At one point in time, it had been an orchard, and there were dead tree-corpses littering the ground. My job was to load them into the scoop of the tractor as well as the huge rocks and other debris that would keep the lawn from being graded, then run on ahead to guide my boss along the obstacle course of fences, trees, and out-buildings to the cliffside where we were dumping the bodies.

Kubota

And then, when I turned my back for a split second to make sure the homeowner’s children and dogs were out of the way of the tractor† –

Calamity

The blade of the bucket of the tractor struck me in the shoulder, sending me flying through the air, leaving what looked like an angry red snake on my collarbone, chest, shoulder, and back for months. I still have the scar, bro – wanna see?

*********

*It is commonly known that if you’re bitten by a heterosexual man under a full moon, he probably likes you quite a lot.

†Seriously, if you have people doing work at your home, keep children and pets away from the worksite.

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About Ty DeLyte

Madame DeLyte has suffered a grave disappointment - YET AGAIN - and still believes that freedom, beauty, and truth are what's valuable, rather than vulgar cash. He'd add love to that list - but, well, what can he say about love?
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1 Response to TALES FROM THE BUTCH SIDE

  1. linnetmoss says:

    Devilish good photo of you 🙂

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