Post the Eighty-Seventh: Halloween Costumes

Gentle Reader, I’m perfectly aware of the date. It’s only the fifth of Septempber; why on earth would a rational person already be planning something nearly two months away?

To that I simply have to say that I started planning back in August and that I’ve already started construction of my Halloween gown. Hand-beading takes time, kids.

Furthermore, in the days of the F.P.A., we always imagined our Ideal Guest receiving their invitation or their save-the-date card, debating over what costume to make, purchase, construct, and spending months on their attire. There would be vague murmurs at all the best parties – Well, what are you wearing? – and thus, interest and intrigue would slowly build for absolute ages, until the day of the event, when people’s creativity and talent would wash over us all in a riotous frenzy of feathers, silk, and sequins. While this was never quite the case with our actual guests, I have always treated Halloween, the Costumer’s High Holy Day, with the reverence and respect described.


I have come up with many unique concepts over the years; the above was a dark interpretation of the Baron Munchausen; there is also my steampunk iteration of the White Knight from Through the Looking Glass:


You can’t quite tell in the photo; there are approximately twenty pouches on the various straps across my chest that serve for armor; there are baskets, a turkish coffee set, tools for masonry and woodwork, a number of blades of varying uses, and so on and so forth.

You can see that this is a serious business that I’m about; I cannot just be a cat, a gypsy, or a cowboy. These, however, are the sort of suggestions I’ve been getting. September is nearly halfway over, and I don’t yet have a back-up concept. A back-up is absolutely de rigeur as the Madame Du Pompadour gown I’m working on is elaborate and expensive, and even at this early date there may not be enough time. There was a moment when I almost decided on Dorothy Parker, but the Coco Chanel* fiasco two years ago turned me against that idea. A couple’s costume, with Miss K, going as gender-switched June and Ward Cleaver seemed promising†, but I know full well that she won’t want to go to half the functions I want to attend. I may be stumped, for the first time in years, even if I am a dead ringer for June.

Halloween7  Halloween6

For heaven’s sake, I cobbled my own boots for my Jareth costume. This shouldn’t be an issue. It is absolutely vital that I sort this out by Sunday, so that I have enough time to source materials and begin in earnest.

I’m sorry, Gentle Reader. I’m publicly brooding over the inconsequential. Do you have any suggestions? What are you wearing and doing on Halloween?


*The fiasco is twofold: firstly, no photos nor film of my costume survive; secondly, no one knew who I was, so I eventually told people that I was a Maiden Aunt.

†Fuck Gender-Roles! Fight Heteronormativity! Etc. Great concept; it’s just that a double-costume’s not practical.

About Ty DeLyte

Madame DeLyte has suffered a grave disappointment - YET AGAIN - and still believes that freedom, beauty, and truth are what's valuable, rather than vulgar cash. He'd add love to that list - but, well, what can he say about love?
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9 Responses to Post the Eighty-Seventh: Halloween Costumes

  1. deenietot says:

    What about keeping with the Ward and June idea, but have multiple Wards to substitute for Miss K when you’re going to an event she wouldn’t want to attend? No, I’m not nominating myself. 😛

    You’re not the only one who has already been looking at costumes. For one, it’s hard to find costumes in my size that I actually like.. so that’ll take some time (if I actually get a costume). Plus, I’m allowed to wear animal-related headpieces at work. Soooo.. I was perusing Amazon the other day for ideas.

    • What ideas did you come up with? I like the idea of a giraffe, but that isn’t exactly practical. At all. Especially when you’re working. Never mind.

      I might get multiple Wards, but I don’t even know what events I’m attending quite yet, and that seems like a lot more effort to secure than I really want to put in. I’ll figure something out. 😉

  2. alisande21 says:

    Unfortunately, I have no suggesting s for you other than to say that the Big Lots by me had a wonderful venetian mask, the kind with the long curving beak, for only $10, and I wished so bad that I didn’t have to wear glasses so I could wear this – though I’m too lazy to pair it with a proper venetian outfit. But have you considered the court fool from Shakespeare days? I just finished reading Christopher Moore’s Merchant of Venice and the main character describes a wonderful black motley. Or even the merchant himself? Though making these might be too time constraining as well…

  3. Pony says:

    I’ve got most of my costume together already; hubby and I are doing a couples thing. We had to keep it simple because we’ll be in Los Angeles at a comic con, so nothing big or terribly complicated would be feasible. Also, I’ll be in a wheelchair, so that limits my options.

    We’re just going as a prisoner and guard from the Kyln (the prison in Guardians of the Galaxy) and I’ll have shackles and a “Hannibal” style mask. He’s having a copy of the guards uniform made for him. Not very exciting, but it will all fit easily in luggage, and be simple to get in and out of.

    You could go as Carmen Miranda, or Holly Golightly or Barbarella?

    • That sounds like an exciting trip! And travel does naturally limit costuming options – but I’m glad you sorted that out. 😀

      Carmen Miranda – now *that* I think I can work with!

      • Pony says:

        I would LOVE to see you as Carmen Miranda. I wanted to do that when I was younger and now I regret that I never got around to it.

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