In Which I Am Pierced

Piercing is so edgy, isn’t it? Gentle Reader, I’ll have you know that the last time I got anything pierced I was freshly sixteen, and I got an emerald stud in each ear. When I put this item on The List I had an idea of what I wanted to do with it – I’m not very punk, you know.


When Miss Heidi said she was going to Claire’s to get some extra holes put in her ears in preparation for her wedding, I was all in.

The Task:

Pierce Something Unnecessary.

The Execution:

We decided on Wednesday that we’d go get pierced on Friday – that is, payday for both of us. The day came; that day at work was utterly atrocious – everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Naturally. Still, we both held it together, periodically reminding one another that WE’RE GETTING PIERCED AFTER WORK! 

Treat 4

We finally got to drive out to the Mall so that we could go to Claire’s! Yep – on the inside, we’re 16-year-old girls.


We went first to Icing, so that we could peruse all the jewelry that we wanted to eventually get for the soon-to-be holes in our faces. It was on the opposite end of the mall from Claire’s, which turned out to be dangerous. You see, we went the Friday before Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so there were lots of sales. Further, we were at the Silverdale Mall – which, Gentle Reader, sees a lot of turnover. Forever 21 had markdowns up to 70% – and Aéropostale was up to 90%, and selling the fixtures. We were both on a budget, and it took a lot of fortitude to pass up some of those deals – we both get flighty and bad with money when we’re in the grocery store, let alone when presented with terribly cute things we’ll never wear.


It was a trial, but we walked past all the shops, telling ourselves we’d get pierced and then reassess our finances.

Now, if it wasn’t clear by the fact we were going to Claire’s, my vision was of my ears – I wanted my original piercing for dangly earrings, while the four planned new piercings going up the interior of my ear would be four pristine pearl studs. Eventually, eventually.

Like this, but classier.

Like this, but classier.

Heidi went under the gun first – one of my piercings was to be in my cartilage, and the specialist was on her break.  She was a little nervous –


– but a swift pair of pinches, and it was over. Just one more set to do, my dear!


Then it was my turn. It had been many, many years since I’d had anything done, but I was beaming.

Piercing 2

And then it was done. Easy-peasy, right?

Piercing 3

I instantly felt, like, 20% cooler.

The Verdict:

For three days, I was so thrilled. It looked great, and would look better yet when I’d gotten the next set done, and best of all when I could swap them out for my imagined pearls – but after the third day, I went back to work. I don’t know if I tore something in my sleep, or if the ear protection that we have to wear was just aggravating them, or if I had a slow reaction to the cheap-ass studs I’d gotten – but my ear was sore all day. When I got home, it wasn’t swollen, or looking bad – but by eight or nine that night it had swollen up so much that the top piercing was pinched tight, embedded in my upper ear. I had to pull it – and the piercing stud flew out from the pressure when I took the back off. The pain stopped, so I left the lower one in and went to bed; the swelling hadn’t stopped by noon the next day, so while it wasn’t painful, I pulled the lower one as well.

Would I do this again? Fuck yes. I want those pearl studs all up my ear. I guess I’ll just have to wait for a bit until I can afford four gold studs, is all – assuming my ear returns to its original shape.


Or else this is my future.



About Ty DeLyte

Madame DeLyte has suffered a grave disappointment - YET AGAIN - and still believes that freedom, beauty, and truth are what's valuable, rather than vulgar cash. He'd add love to that list - but, well, what can he say about love?
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